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Hey Reader,

The most random thing happened the other day and I just had to tell you all about it because there is a lesson here for all my sensitive, people-pleasing friends.

I was out with a friend (and fellow entrepreneur) when I noticed I had a voicemail.

It said..."Oh, hi Emily, this is *redacted name*. If you can text that would be better. Otherwise, you can call. *redacted phone number* Uh, I have some questions. Thank you."

At first I figured it was spam. But when I looked the number up, it belonged to a real local business.

Her online presence was... not great. All over the place, several different businesses going at once. But I didn't judge because I'm a multi-passionate girly myself!

I texted back thinking she was in need of my branding or web design help...even though I had a weird feeling about it ( I don't usually give out my personal cell phone number).

She responded by asking for my business name because apparently she had been contacting many places (which can sometimes be typical when people are "shopping around" for service providers).

I think I already knew at this point that this was NOT a potential client...but my curiosity got the better of me.

I wrote, "My business is Unbuttoned Brands! Is there something I can help you with? Who referred you my way?"

And you know what she responded with?

LOL is right! It had been soooo long since I received a cold telephone pitch (it's mostly email spam these days).

After a good laugh (because WHATTT!?!), I sent a simple response back: "No, thank you. I've been in marketing for decades? How did you get my number?"

I was genuinely curious! I did not expect what came next.

Cool. Cool. And then she drops this...

"But this text interaction has already been too much work for me...

1. No identity with first text
2. Asking who referred/how did you get my number?
3. Feels like an impatient interrogation.
4. Are you aware that it comes across like this?
5. Earn respect and report before asking for marketing info."

Like whattttttttttt?! She cold-called me without identifying herself or why she was calling, made me do detective work to figure out it was a pitch, texted my personal number... and I thought I'd been pretty gracious about it.

I said as much and she responded with..."Well, it appears there is a mismatch in what you advertise and how you act...might be something to think about in the future."

I sent one polite final reply and left it there (and thankfully she didn't try to reach out again).

So here's the lesson...

A lot of us believe that kindness means being endlessly patient and endlessly agreeable (even with people who never extended us the same courtesy).

That's not kindness. That's people-pleasing in a nicer outfit.

Here's the part I can't stop thinking about: she told me, flatly, there was "a mismatch between what I advertise and how I act."

For a hot second, I actually caught myself wondering if I'd been the rude one.

As a sensitive, values-driven entrepreneur, who is deeply committed to being kind, inclusive, and welcoming...I realize that sometimes manipulative people will try to weaponize your own values against you.

This person literally quoted my website back to me to try to bypass my boundaries.

When I state on my website that kindness and inclusion matter, it means everyone is welcome to show up authentically, safely, and respectfully.

It does NOT mean my personal phone number is open season or that I owe my energy, time, or trust to someone pushing a cold pitch (I could write a whole @ss email on consent based marketing in itself)!

Kindness is not a lack of boundaries. Kindness with boundaries is self-respect.

When you build a brand that is rooted in your heart and values, you don't have to shrink, appease, or over-explain yourself to be respected.

Your brand shouldn't be a doormat that welcomes everyone in and lets them walk all over you. It should be a mirror that reflects the authority, confidence, and boundaries of who you actually are.

At the end of the day, I’m almost grateful for the reminder...and hey, at least it made for some good email content, right?! 😉

If you’ve been feeling like your current brand is making you look smaller than you are, or if you're tired of over-explaining your worth and taking on clients who don't respect your boundaries...it might be time for your outside presence to catch up to your inside power.

I help sensitive, high-achieving entrepreneurs build bold, strategic brands that attract aligned dream clients (without the hustle, performing, or people-pleasing).

If you're ready to stop cringing when you share your link and start showing up with total confidence...

Check out how we can work together here!

Because being yourself isn't just the goal...it's the strategy.

Emily 💋

xo Emily Lauren (she/her) Missed a previous email? Catch up here!​